Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Toxic Friendships

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When I first started blogging, I wanted to do Tuesdays and Thursdays as a kind of "issue" centered post. At first, I thought I would run out of ideas, but now I realize I obviously have lots of issues. For some reason, in the past few days bad (and good) friendships have been a big discussion topic with me.  I think everyone goes through phases where friendships don't last very well, and then eventually you grow out of it and start making life long friendships. I'm pretty sure I'm just growing out of that phase now...fingers crossed! 
I would love to say that I don't know why most of my middle and high school friendships didn't last, but that'd be a lie. Because of the many things that have happened in my life, and the way I was raised, I'm pretty mature for my age (that's not me tooting my own horn, it's just true) and I have to admit that I'm not a very tolerant person. To that fault, I can own up. 
To some extent, I get angry with people when they act immaturely because I know what kinds of serious problems people can face, and I know I shouldn't because not everyone learns those things, but I can't help it for the most part. I get so frustrated when people act so selfishly and devastated in the face of such small things, but I'm trying to work on it. I also have an issue with promiscuity (I know how prude and old-lady that sounds but I figured it'd be better than saying slutty-ness) and that causes problems with some people. Anyway, back to the original topic...
I think friendships should be beneficial to both parties. In a lot of ways I think friendships prepare you for relationships. You should be able to tell your best friend anything and know they won't judge you or tell anyone else. They should be so excited and proud of you when something good happens for you, not competitive and always trying to top what you've done. You should always feel that you can count on them and they shouldn't make you feel guilty for needing them. And you should make sure they feel those things in return. 
I've been in so many friendships that have been so toxic. I don't deal well with people constantly trying to tear me down or make me feel stupid and I'm not at all shy about confrontation, so I've always handled it and grown apart from them, but I've seen so many people in toxic relationships that don't even realize it or don't know how to get out of it. 
It's a scary thing, leaving behind someone you used to be so close to, especially when you have to physically do something, because you can't just grow apart, but it is absolutely worth it. Friendships are supposed to be your safe place and if it's not, then it's time to let go, because the world is already hard enough. 

What have your experiences with bad friendships been like? How did you deal with it?
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