Wednesday, February 19, 2014

A Letter to 16 Year Old Me


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This week I am just a bit burnt out. I am so ready to leave for my trip next week but am so not ready for the work I will have to make up when I get back. I am so excited to finally get my study abroad decision but am so scared that I may not get the result I want. I am excited for my Chi O formal on Friday, but as always, I am so worried about having a great night and looking my best that it's been constantly stressing me. 
I haven't done the "Blog Everyday in February" prompts not because I didn't like them, but because I had already blogged many of them and I just wanted to pick a few of my favorites randomly. Today the "Letter to your 16 year old self" prompt is begging me to write about it, so that's just what I'll do. It's about to get real personal up in hurr (I am terribly sorry for that bad joke).  
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Dear Sarah, 
Please know that junior year is hard. Teachers expect a lot of you, but you expect even more of yourself. Be careful to stop and enjoy things every once and a while, and learn to let things go, because while you will not remember that B in American History, you will remember that panic attack over late homework that totally ruined your day. Calm Down. 
Please remember that having one sibling with one disease that consumes one parent, and another sibling with another that consumes the other one, does not mean you disappear. Everyone works as hard as they can to make sure that things get taken care of and no matter how many A's you get or clubs you lead, you will never be first. Learn to be okay with that. Your time will come. It will seem like a big deal that you get your license last of all your friends, but it isn't. Please try to not be bitter and resentful because that will only rob the good times of all of their happiness. 
Please realize that everyone learns in their own way and in their own time…even your parents. Just as you do not understand the struggles of everyone else, they will not understand yours, but it is important to remember that everyone struggles. Allow them to do so. Judging and ranking struggles and sins is not your place nor your responsibility. 
Please do not let your hair, or your teeth, or your thighs get the best of you. You are who you are and people love you for it. Before braces, after braces, blond hair, big butt and all. You will grow up and you will be fine. Eventually, people will stop tagging you in pictures from high school and you can stop hating yourself in them. You are worth so much more than that. It seems strange now, but one day you are going to really love the person that you already are and be so proud of the things you are already accomplishing. 
Please do not try to fill your life up with things, because things do not equal happiness. You will soon see that the people with everything in the world are often the saddest and loneliest of them all. The people that admire you because of your expensive accessories are not your friends and the people who lead perfect internet lives are just as confused as you. Love the people who laugh at your awkward jokes, quick wit, and funny faces. Let them admire you for that instead. 
Never be afraid of your dreams. The best things in your life will come out of chances that you never knew you wanted to take and doors that you ran through completely blind. People will try to box you in and say that dreaming about such big things is silly, but you can always always make them happen if you don't give up on them. 
Most of all, please never stop having hope in love, in family, in friendships. Be patient and always kind. Don't sweat the small stuff but always appreciate the beauty in it.
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What do you wish you could tell your 16 year old self? 
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