Tuesday, September 2, 2014

You Are So Much Cooler Than You Think

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A few days ago, I was reading one of my favorite mom blogs, (they are my favorite thing ever), and came across this quote mentioned by Rob Lowe in a conversation with his son - "Never compare your insides to someone else's outsides." And holy hell, it was like a pivotal moment where I thought "Yes, oh my gosh, these words were meant for me today." 

I do a lot of comparing in general, but especially to other people and how confident/cool/pretty they look on the outside. Yes, I know, "comparison is the thief of joy" and all that, but it's really hard, especially in this day and age, not to compare yourself to everyone around you and see how you measure up. And the worst part about it all is that we are SO much harder on ourselves than anyone will ever be. 

The best advice I’ve ever received is, ‘No one else knows what they’re doing either.
                                                                                           Ricky Gervais

I am very good at judging everyone by how they look on the outside, whether it be cool, calm, and collected, or a totally anxious, ball of nerves, but I always judge myself based on how I feel inside, which is usually the latter. And it's funny, because at times when I've felt totally unsteady and not super confident going into a situation, most people couldn't even tell. 

Most recently, I met this guy who I thought was literally too cool. I'm not really sure why, but I automatically thought of him as just so much cooler (and by cooler I really mean more interesting and worldly, I guess) than me and therefore I got totally nervous and acted like a total goob, only making the situation worse. I got so wrapped up in him that I overlooked all the cool things that make me, me. Are they different than some of the things that make him, him? Yes. But so what? That doesn't, or shouldn't really, make my "me" things any less cool, but because I knew all the background things, I thought that it did. After trying to explain to my best friend what was so cool about him and supposedly so uncool about me, she very graciously gave me a reality check and it was refreshing to see myself in a way that other people see me, especially when they don't know what's going on constantly in my head. My point being, I will never know what goes on in his head, and I've got to stop judging myself so harshly based on my insides and judging what he's thinking based on his outsides, because obviously that can be deceiving. 

I know I've said it a million times, but because we can all use a reminder, namely me, I'll say it again. We should all be kinder to each other, girls to boys, boys to girls, but especially girls to girls. We will never know what other people are going through and dealing with in their heads, and some of the happiest, most confident, brave people on the outsides are some of the most frightened and lost people on the insides. Most of all, we should all be kinder to ourselves. I know, it sounds like something Oprah would say on Super Soul Sunday, but it's true. We have to be patient and forgiving when we make embarrassing mistakes, because for all you know, someone else may think they're completely adorable. #wishfulthinking 

“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson
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