I know what you’re thinking…”What the heck does Jesus have to do with white jeans?” Well, let me tell you. A few weeks ago, I got it in my head that I wanted a pair of white jeans. My boss wears them all them time and makes them look so chic and effortless, and so after brainstorming all the things in my closet I could pair them with, I started my search for the perfect pair.
I looked at Nordstrom, Gap, J. Crew, etc, and decided I wanted to go try on a pair before pulling the trigger, especially on $50-$75 jeans. You know when you have such high hopes for something and then it just doesn’t go like you planned? That was basically my experience. I'm really weird about skinny jeans because the biggest parts of my body are my thighs and butt, but my waist is smaller, so sometimes I can look like a triangle on the bottom with a bigger top and skinny ankles. And even though I'm probably the only person in the world who notices, it bothers me.
When I was younger, in that awkward 13 year old stage, I would go shopping with my friends and want to wear all the things they wore. I can remember so many times when I just wanted to cry in the dressing room because it didn't look the same on me and I felt like less because of it. It takes growing up to realize that every body is made a different way, and there are some things that look great on me that don't on other people and vice versa, and you just have to find your own style that fits your body type, but back then I didn't know that. Being in the American Eagle dressing room in white jeans that are known for maximizing any and every flaw, I felt like that 13 year old again. I felt disappointed. I felt like I didn't even wanna leave that dressing room because I wasn't good enough.
I opened the door to show Myles and he was completely unaware and unaffected by all of it. He sort of shrugged at me being so flustered about it and said "They look fine, but I love you either way." And that hit me like a ton of bricks. And I wanted to cry. Suddenly I felt like, who cares if they look terrible if I like them? WHO CARES? I felt so loved. I felt like all those little things didn't even matter anymore, because why worry about it, when I have someone who loves me for things that are so much more important than how my butt looks in white jeans? But this isn't about just me and Myles, I promise.
I went back in the dressing room and sat on the bench for a while just thinking about Jesus and how He loves me no matter what. How He made me, EXACTLY how He wanted to, with purpose and without mistakes, and how His love is unwavering, white jeans or not.
Song of Solomon 4:7 - You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.
And in that moment, I felt Jesus saying, "Sarah, nothing you could ever do, or wear, or score on a test, could make me love you less. You are everything I created you to be; don't let worldly things make you think differently."
In this season of so much pressure to ace all of my finals and live up to this unrealistic beach body standard, I am so glad that the person who made me, big butt and all, doesn't care about any of that. He loves me for my heart for others, and my strength in the face of all the things this world throws at me, and my work ethic when things get hard. Not my GPA or the number on a scale. And that's such a relief, because I feel like I can stop chasing all the ideas of perfect in my head and just be ENOUGH as I already am.
Romans 8:37-39 - No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.